Or … “How to not raise money from your citizenry.”

Transcript of a chat with my friend Jeremy:

I just tried to log into treasurydirect.gov
Which is how i buy bonds for my little cousins.
Account number is 10 digit alpha numeric…
Password must have letters numbers and symbols…
Then it asks you 10 questions which you previously answered when setting up account.
You need to pick the 3 that you chose to answer out of the 10.
Then, when you think you made it through…
It tells you to get out the account card that was mailed to you when you opened the account.
And it lists a series of numbers on the web page and you have to provide the corresponding answer from the card.
And you can’t type your answers…
You need to click a virtual keyboard for most of the aforementioned steps.
And the virtual keyboard is scrambled…
So i made it all the way to the end and then i couldn’t find my goddamn card.
Now they need to mail one to me.
7-10 days
Goddammitall.